Dark Shadows, Silver Lining

Well, Dark Shadows certainly is disappointing. But it does have a few nice lines, mostly spoken by centuries-old vampire Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp), who has just awakened in 1972:
"Mephistopheles!" -- Barnabas, upon seeing the McDonald's arches for the first time.
"Reveal yourself, tiny songstress." -- Barnabas, upon seeing Karen Carpenter performing on a TV show.
"Ugliest woman I've ever seen." -- Barnabas, upon seeing Alice Cooper.